My best friend, who I met through fandom, was diagnoised in Oct 2016 with stage 4 pancreeatic cancer. She was given 3 weeks to live if she didn't start chemotheropy immediately. She did and has had a year of relatively good days, however, the cancer has started to get a leg up on the chemo.
Since December, she's been trying different cocktails of chemo drugs looking for one that will knock down the tumors playing around in her liver and pancreas. We know now when she starts getting pressure in her side and back, thats the tumors pressing on her innards. The doctor has already told us that if this next cocktail doesn't knock the tumors back there is no other options for her. Surgery and targeted radiation are not options diue to the initial involvement.
My friends days are spent trying to keep her energy levels up, not vomiting - oddly due to mucus vs. nausea from chemo, and keeping her anxiety level down. Its till hard for me to imagine being told you're gonna die in X time - how does a sane person wrap their mind around that?
She is planning her own memorial service, gotten her finances together and her will. I keep trying to figure out ways to perk her spirits up. When you have to be so careful about going out in public due to potiental infections - flu and pneumonia being biggies - and being so tired she hasn't been to a movie in over a year because she keeps falling asleep, sometimes playing a card game at home is all the excitement she can take.
My mom passed away at 49 - 25 yrs ago now. So I rage at cancer, spitting vulgarities, shaking my fist and feeling helpless.
So Thursday morning, I officially became an orphan.
Daddy passed away in his sleep, unexpected, yet expected for the last 10 years. We didn't think he'd make 70, but he passed that by. He ended at 75, willful to the last. He wasn't always that way, but the TIAs and strokes noticably changed his personality. He's happy now in the ether with Mom.
Had a moment to fling some thoughts out into the 'Verse. Please don't expect profoundness in my meanderings, just easing on down the timeline of life.
Let's see - what is going with me ..
Had to cancel my planned trip home (to FL) for my best friends wedding. It was a choice of having fun and spending lots of money, or getting my teeth fixed and spending lots of money. And health won out over fun. Dang it.
Unfortunately that also means I will be putting a halt to most extraneous spending. There will be a few movies I'll see, but now the free for all I've been doing lately. Book and movie buying it sharply curtailed. Don't you just hate economizing. It sucks.
I did manage to see Darkest Hour with Gary Oldman playing Winston Churchill. Excellent movie and I'm glad Gary has been nominated for Oscars. Don't think the Academy will give it to him though. Probably go to Daniel Day Lewis - favorites again. And as everyone seems to be talking about Shape of Water, that will likely get the best pic nod. Victoria and Abdul was good period piece - liberties given for movie-making set aside. Judy Densch has made older Victoria her latter years gob-smacker.
I've seen The Last Jedi twice now. I'm still not sure what I wanted that movie to be. I was excited about The Force Awakens when it came out - even saw it about 5 times. It was glaringly obvious that it was a re-hash of A New Hope, but I rolled with it. I get that Producers are setting up the Star Wars universe for a new set of characters to continue the storyline - which ever one they end up using. The books are rich with charactoers and they are authorized versions so maybe they will pull some of them into the movies.
I don't get to watch much current TV so can't really say something is my favorite, other than Big Bang Theory. Love those geeks. Been going through an espionage mood, so spending much time with The Avengers. Love me some John Steed. Patrick Macnee is adorable. I have all the seasons - 1 through 6 and the New Avengers. I haven't finished saturating my mind with The Avengers yet, so haven't moved on to other shows waiting in the wings: re-watching The Equalizer, Danger Man and The Prisioner, I-Spy, Man from Uncle, and some other Brit shows I had no inkling of: 1990 with Edward Woodward, An Englishman's Castle with Kenneth More, Man in a Suitcase, Berlin Station just to name a few. I'm going through a phase.
Books: I've been enthralled with Jaqueline Winspear's Maise Dobbs series. I'm tearing through Book 4 - Messenger of Truth. Maise is a full rich charactor with all of life's dealings for a women wanting to make her own way but hampered by the social conventions of what it means to be a woman in a modern world. It's set between 1913 and into 1940's. Good Mysteries too. I'm in a Historial Mystery mood when reading right now. Anna Lee Huber, Andrea Penrose, Laurie R King, Rhys Bowen, CS Harris. Modern mysteries - Elly Griffiths. So a few authors I'm enjoying.
So the laundry is calling me .. dryer pinging its finished so must dash.
It's cold. Not just cold, it's COLD. Nipple and other outwardly pokey body parts freezing stuff. Officially, -17F with wind chill of -33F. Even for me who likes winter, that is a bit much.
So I've been aquatinting myself with what I wrote all these years ago. (hand slapping over the eyes) Oy Vey! I wrote this stuff?
There are more than a few of these fan fics that need major revisions. I've got POV all over the place on quite a few. Geez, I hate to say it, not very sexy erotic as I thought at the time. I think I was trying to hard to make sex work. It didn't and some of these fics, I have the female characters reacting poorly to how it was written.
I hope I've learned a few things in the intervening years and can make them better.
So it's almost that time. Actually, I never was one for celebrating this recycling of the calendar. It reminds me that time moves forward, relentlessly, until that time when you kick the bucket to the next plain of existence.
And here's hoping that existence is really there. Many dimensions of space/time, here's hoping one at least will continue the corporeal.
Spent last night enjoying a Patrick Macnee marathon of tv guest episodes/movies. I think later tonight will see me back with John Steed - Avenger extraordinaire. Love watching Patrick moving (walking, running, smiling, laughing) and listening to his voice. I could be quite happy listening to Patrick Macnee, Patrick Stewart, Louis Ferreira everyday recite the ABCs. Such rich tones, whimsy and spice.
My cat still isn't sleeping with me. With this cold, I move around too much and cough and blow my nose for her to settle down. She does this every time I get ill. Bought a tiny humidifier; it was enough to make the air more comfortable for sleeping.
And it is freaking cold. -14F at the 2200 news hour. Wind chill -22F. Haven't had that kind of cold since I moved here almost 20 years ago. Temp didn't break the 0F mark today. Set a new record low.
ah well, time to throw the next load of laundry into the dryer.
Happy New Year!
Yeah, so 2013 since I last posted something. Life moves fast.
Still have a job. Yay! Still liking that job. Yay! Still working night shift. Yay! Moved into a larger apartment. Yay!
Getting along without cable tv, but no internet is difficult. Boo and yay! Picked up a cold over Christmas. Boo! Have an aching tooth. Boo in a MEGA way!
Yeah, not much to say yet. This cold on top of the tooth is kicking butt.
Hope everyone out there in LJ-land is doing fine. I guess I need to do something about that photo bucket advert junking up my page. Have to figure out how to fix that and not by paying them to make it go away.
Two weeks ago, ye olde desktop decided it didn't want to cooperate with me anymore and won't let me log on. Bit of a bummer that as I had reminded myself not too many days prior to start backing up my files. Premonition maybe?
Any who, I'm waiting for the computer repair man to get some open time slots to take a look at my baby.
People keep telling me, why upgrade your dino desktop - go with a laptop. I have an old, OLD, ancient laptop that I'm using now to type this, and don't particularly care for the sensitivity of the base. Too much pressure and it moves the cursor to Siberia. Then I have to send out search parties to find it again. This laptop heats up so fast, sending the hard disk to whirring at a furious pace that I wonder when it will succumb to heat stroke.
I think I'd rather have a smartphone again than lug around a laptop, although one of those netbook thingies, really light, and have a laptop keyboard might not be too bad. But then you have to have a data plan to access the internet unless you're at a free WiFi location. Back to a smartphone.
And then there's the security issue. I don't often go any place with an express interest in surfing the internet. Except maybe work, where we can't use our computers for anything non business related. Back to a smartphone.
Why does this sound like I'm talking myself into upgrading to a smartphone?
Meanwhile, I plug away on the laptop. Did I mention it's really OLD?
Writing - I actually did some this weekend. Of course, I didn't back up my WIP folder before the misunderstanding with my desktop, so the stories I need to be working on are languishing in limboland. Or maybe they went to Tahiti?
Work is still engaging my interest. Lots of certification classes upcoming. Messes with the sleep schedule when you work nights and have to be in a class for 2 days at 8am. That's gonna be ... fun.
Did I win the lottery this weekend? Hmm, I must have missed that.
I recently watched all of Terra Nova. It really started to get interesting at the end. Too bad - another series given the heave ho before it's time. Has anyone noticed the revenge factor on a lot of series lately. Hollywood truly does steal from each other and original ideas are few and far between. I'd like to catch that new show on FX, Americans; good old fashioned COLD WAR tension. Almost makes me nostalgic for the Soviet Union and the Berlin Wall.
I adore Big Bang Theory. I started watching the first season just before my desktop hiccoughed - OMG those nerds are wonderful. Totally enjoy Elementary. Love Lucy Lui as Watson and Johnny Lee Miller is fantastic as Sherlock. RDJr's Sherlock is written with his humor and mannerisms and it's done perfectly. I enjoy those movies - Jude Law's Watson is great for that combination RDJr's Sherlock. Cumberbatch and Martin - I like Martin as Watson. Cumberbatch takes some time for me to get used to. Still haven't seen the 2nd season yet. I hear it is riveting.
Does anyone watch Grimm? I can't wait to catch up with it once I get my desktop back.
Reading space operas right now. And Apocalypse books. Still reading How to books about fiction writing. There is no secret recipe for writing. You've got to have vocabulary and grammar and I've always been deficient in those areas. I live with my Thesaurus but remembering that I am my father's daughter - spell checkers are greatly challenged by us.
Listening to the audiobook of Doris Kearns Goodwin's book, Team of Rivals. Fantastic book on Lincoln and his political acumen. Brilliant strategist.
Looking forward to a good movie soon? When will that be? When Star Trek comes out? I won't wait too long to see Olympus Has Fallen. Gerard Butler. Need I say more?
Louis Ferreira coming to the small screen with MOTIVE on ABC this summer. And he's in Rookie Blue for a few episodes as well as SPACE Channel's recently cancelled Primeval New World. Check Louis out. He's cuddly cute and has a terrific smile. Gosh, I really miss SGU.